Fathers Day
Did you have a nice Fathers Day? We had a great one. It’s the first year in about 10 that we had both children at home and they made a delicious lunch that we ate outside as it was such a lovely day. We then got a little exercise playing croquet and laughing. What fun!
I know not everyone has had great experiences with their father, but I am very sure that everyone has had a wonderful male role model in their life at some time. Perhaps they are stepfathers, uncles, a big brother or next door neighbour. It’s a good time to honour these other father figures as well.
Parenting
I think today it is hard for people who bring up children by themselves, although some do a wonderful job. The qualities of both male and female seem so complementary. There’s a Erma Bombeck writing on the marvelcreations site which talks about God creating fathers and mothers and the differences. It’s cute, but actually contains some good information.
We looked at this in the Belonging Group at church. It was interesting to find scripture about God the Father’s characteristics which are quite manly such as discipline. On the other hand we thought that the Holy Spirit displays the more motherly characteristics of comfort.
Good Parenting
What help is out there to help fathers and mothers with parenting? I think help is important as I remember my early months as parent with no family around. Friends are so important and espeically older friends who have already gone through the process. I don’t know what I would have done without Ann Furner Holmes in those days. Having someone to reassure me that all was well was so very important.
There are lots of people who are in the position that I was in and it is tough. Besides family and friends, there’s lots on the Internet that can be helpful.
Web Help
The Royal College of Psychologists have a wonderful leaflet on parents. This site talks about the importance of praise, but also says the rules are an important part of everyday life. If children learn to follow rules, they learn to get along with other people and will be much happier and less frustrated.
The Australian Parenting website, Raising Children, is really well organised according to age groups of children, plus a section for parents including things like budgetingand depression.
Some of the hints
1 Stress the positive. Spend more time talking about what your child does right than critising. Affection and respect will reinforce good (and change bad) behaviour.
2 Eat together often as meals are a great time to talk about the day and develop a close relationship with your children.
3 Provide an environment for your children where a foundation of mutual appreciation, support, and respect is the basis of your relationship and this will continue into their adult years.
4 If you can be calm and clear with your commands as it will help with communication. Saying something like `Please turn down the CD player” or `It's time for bed now’ is a calm way of requesting an action.
5 If you phrase your requests so that your child can say yes, your desired response will come more easily. The child will listen if you phrase your request in a way that appeals to his/her need for control and independence. If you say, ‘Would you like to set out the plates or the spoons?’ you are more likely to get cooperation than if you say, ‘Set the table NOW! (Raising Children site)
6 One of the things I found most useful and important to remember was when your child is making you angry, go into another room or even outside, then calm down before trying to talk.
Parenting is one of the most exciting, wonderful, but hard times of our lives. Enjoy, but do seek help when its needed. There is lots of help out there.
Useful Websites
Web Weeds & Wisdom blog:
http://webweedswisdom.blogspot.com/
http://www.marvelcreations.com/fathersday.html
http://www.fathers.com/
http://www.friendshospitalonline.org/parenting%20tips.htm
http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthandgrowingup/2goodparenting.aspx
http://raisingchildren.net.au/
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