Ted Kennedy: lessons learned

Ted Kennedy was many things in his life: hard-working senator, fantastic father, terrible husband, womaniser, excellent husband, etc. He went through many changes in his life, from baby to patriarch, from family playboy to rock; a huge life of contrasts was lived by this man. He had more than his share of sadness, losing two siblings when he was still a child, and then experienced the public assassination of his two political brothers.

Obama reminds us of his life full of tragedy, “he narrowly survived a plane crash, watched two children struggle with cancer, buried three nephews, and experienced personal failings and setbacks in the most public way possible,...It's a string of events that would have broken a lesser man ... But that was not Ted Kennedy."

So how did this man rise to live the legacy that he has left? I think that although he made many mistakes, he learned from these experiences; and he also learned from the history of others and applied this knowledge to new situations.

Everyone who spoke at his funeral mass, told stories which revealed the lessons that they had learned from Ted Kennedy. While watching the service, I decided to keep a list of those that spoke to me, and added more from research late; so here they are.

1. Help those who are less able.
   He gave a voice to those who were not heard; he did what he could to provide opportunities to make dreams come true. His fight to provide access to high quality heatlth care for all Americans started when his son got cancer at a young age, and continued to his death. Along with Tom Harkin, he also drafted the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990.
2. Treat everyone with kindness and respect regardless of their position, race or religion.
   On his website he talks about love as being the answer. Ted’s son said that his father taught him how to love Republicans. Even though most people have trouble loving those in the opposite political ring, he developed many personal relationships with Republicans and others with different viewpoints.
3. Be passionate about your causes, but don’t let it ruin your relationships.
   Although Ted’s causes became deeply personal, his disagreements never did.
4. Use each day to learn from your mistakes and hardships.
   Ted certainly grew from his failures and the hardships life threw at him, and even those he caused himself. Ted Jr, said that his father taught him that even our most profound losses are survivable. It is what we do with that loss that is important. Ted said this when he was talking with his teenage son about the loss of his son’s leg through cancer.
5. Believe that there is nothing you can’t do, and be willing to accept help to do it.
   He said "There is nothing you can't do" to his son who had a very new prosthetic leg and was trying to climb up a hill so they could sled down it. He also provided support for his son and said they would climb the hill together even if it took all day.
6. Work hard and be really prepared.
   Ted Jr spent much time with his father learning sailing manoeuvres. One night he asked his father, “Why are we always the last ones on the water?” His father answered that most of the other sailors are smarter than they are, so they need to work harder and be better prepared.
7. Learn from the past of others.
   Ted was a Civil War buff who attended many anniversaries of Civil War battles to try to understand what the soldiers had been involved in. He felt that to Know what to do in the future you should try to understand what happened in the past
8. Love is the answer. What is the question?
9. Much is expected of those to whom much has been given. T
   This was advice he received from his parents. I guess this means all of us in Australia. We live a lucky lifestyle in a lucky country. We need to work to keep it such a wonderful place.
10. “It’s better to send in the Peace Corps than the Marine Corps.” Ted Kennedy

“For all my years in public life, I have believed that America must sail toward the shores of liberty and justice for all. There is no end to that journey, only the next great voyage. We know the future will outlast all of us, but I believe that all of us will live on in the future we make.”
—SEN. EDWARD M. KENNEDY

Useful Websites:

http://kennedy.senate.gov/

http://tedkennedy.org/ownwords

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/08/29/politics/main5273943.shtml

http://www.bostonherald.com/news/kennedy/view/20090830an_incredible_send-off/srvc=home&position=also

http://bigthink.com/tedkennedy/what-should-we-be-doing-that-were-not

Searching for movies

Last night when I was driving home from work, I heard a discussion on military/war movies, Military history is one of David’s favourite topics so I stopped the car to ring him so he could listen to it. However, David and technology are not a good mix so he didn’t find the station. I will admit that our radios aren’t as easy to operate as pushing buttons on a car radio. Now... why aren’t they? Why hasn’t someone made a radio which will save our favourite places?

Web search
This led me to a search today to see if I could find the list. I couldn’t! However, there are many, many military movie lists on the web. Although this is not my favourite genre, I found many interesting lists. For me, the best was Frank’s Reel Review which arranged the movies into campaigns. The top of each category of his list included: The Patriot, Glory, Sergeant York, The War: A Ken Burns Film, M*A*S*H, Platoon and Braveheart.

Another good military movie list was the Internet Movie Database (imdb). This list included many movies from around the world. Schindler's List was the top of that list and there was also a worst war movie list for those you might want to avoid.

Romance
OK. Well that leads me to romance. Because if I go to a military movie with David, he then sees one which appeals to me; often a romantic comedy! So, are there romantic comedy lists on the web? Of course there are.

The imdb list included: Casablanca (1942), Rear Window (1954), North by Northwest (1959), The Big Parade (1925), It's a Wonderful Life (1946), Dzhentlmeny udachi (1972), Léon (1994). This list included one movie not yet released here (500 Days of Summer), but most were quite old films. Does this mean people were more romantic in the past? Perhaps... I just read some of the old letters that my father wrote to my mother in the 1940’s and although I never saw my father as a romantic, his letters were beautiful!

The couples company list actually looks more like my list. It includes: Gone with the Wind, Breakfast at Tiffany's (my daughter-in-law’s favourite), Doctor Zhivago, An Officer and a Gentleman, Romeo & Juliet, Casablanca, Love Story, Beauty & The Beast, An Affair to Remember, and When Harry Met Sally. Of course, I would like to include Sleepless in Seattle, and perhaps Camile , Westside Story, Roman Holiday, the African Queen, An Affair to Remember, The Philadelphia Story, Pretty Woman and many more. Many more films are listed on the celebrate love link below.

Children not forgotten
I found a couple list of children’s and family movies, but none I was really happy with. Why doesn’t a primary teacher construct a good list for parents; or perhaps one has already done so. The best list I found were movies the whole family might enjoy: Finding Nemo, Babe, Shrek, Up, Ratatouille, The Muppet Movie, Toy Story, and The Princess Bride.

One liners
The last area I looked at was movie quotes and the following are my most remembered:
“Play it again, Sam” (Casablanca)
“Bond. James Bond” (Bond films)
"E.T. phone home."
"You want answers?" - "I want the truth!" - "You can't handle the truth!" (Few Good men)
“We'll always have Paris." (Casablanca)
"Here's looking at you, kid." (Casablanca)
"Then close your eyes and tap your heels together three times. And think to yourself, 'There's no place like home'."(Wizard of OZ)

Casablance it is!
A romantic military movie—guess that’s the answer for us tonight.

Useful Websites
Best Military movie list
http://www.franksreelreviews.com/shorttakes/reelrant/rantwar.htm http://www.imdb.com/chart/war
Best Romance movie listshttp://www.couplescompany.com/Features/CT/Movies/Love.htmhttp://www.filmsite.org/romancefilms.htmlhttp://www.celebratelove.com/romanticmovies.htmQuoteshttp://www.filmsite.org/moments00.html many with sound files

The last lecture? Words of advice

A friend told me about Randy Pausch’s last lecture at Carnegie Mellon (a private research university in the USA) which he had listened to on the web. James said it was really good, and very worth a listen. Randy was dying of pancreatic cancer, when he delivered his last lecture in 2007.

He was a wonderful lecturer and his words were delivered with warmth, humour, and purpose. In "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams," Pausch spoke about his childhood dreams, and how he had achieved some of those. He also spoke about enabling the dreams of others.

Randy’s final points
• Get a feedback loop and listen to it. The hard part is the listening to it. When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.
• Show gratitude.
• Don’t complain. Just work harder.
• Be good at something; it makes you valuable.
• Work hard.
• Find the best in everybody. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side, just keep waiting, it will come out
• And be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity.

If you have time, it is really worth listening to or reading his complete last lecture. The video is about an hour long, and you can skim the transcript much quicker, but you will miss seeing Randy in action. You can find links to both versions at the end of this article.

This made me think if I had one hour to impart what I thought was most important for people to know, what would I say? What would you say? What is important? Obviously many people are asking this same question as there are many, many posts relating to his lecture on the web.

One town’s response to Pausch’s last lecture
A reporter from the Journal Sentinel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, visited its local barber shop and recorded what some of the customers would pass on to others. Some of the off the cuff words of wisdom are certainly worth repeating, and I have copied some of the responses below.

"I learned early in Scouts to leave your campsite cleaner than you found it. The same can be said about life: Leave the people and places around you better than you found them." Scott Walker

"We may be best remembered for our achievements but best judged on what we do for others." Dan Finley

"To be effective and to survive emotionally, cops need courage, compassion and a sense of humor. They can't afford to make do with only two of them." Edward A Flynn

“I would offer The Buddha's last words. He said: 'Diligently seek your own liberation.' I would probably add: 'Diligently seek everybody's liberation.' " Paul Norton

"Live everyday like there is no tomorrow, and give, give and give more. This world needs more givers, not takers. Just do it!" Bo Black

Our Town
Our Pat Holmes was a giver, a truly caring person and her “last lecture” was the eulogy she wrote before she died, which was read by Barbara at her funeral. She still had a message for us: love one another. She lived her message and asked that we try as well.

This is a huge ask with some people, but as Randy said, everyone has a good side. Some people just take a long time to show it.

Golden Rule
We all know the Golden Rule: “Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.” Sometimes it’s so hard to put ourselves in the shoes of others. How would we really want to be treated if we were in that particular situation? It’s easy to say, but we would never have gotten into that situation in the first place. That is not what the golden rule is about...What a different world this would be if we could only put this into practice.

Gandhi said, “Be the change you seek”.

Useful Websites
Last lecture transcript
http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/Randy/pauschlastlecturetranscript.pdf
Last lecture video
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo
http://www.jsonline.com/entertainment/29419214.html
http://agingreluctantly.com/2009/05/14/my-words-of-wisdom/

Happy Mothers Day

I do love holidays, and next Sunday is Mother’s Day. I know it has become too commercialised. However, I think having a day to remember our mothers, grandmothers or other women who were influential in our lives is a good has to be a good idea.

Mother’s Days of the past
As a child, I created many inedible breakfasts that my mother pretended to enjoy. I think the cards I made were probably much better than the breakfasts.

When my children were young, I spent most Mother’s Days at Pony Club. There were a couple years when I thought Pony Club on Mother’s Day was a really silly idea, but the memories of spending those days with kids and horses are irreplaceable.

Around the world
Most countries celebrate Mother’s Day on the second Sunday of May.

Mothering Sunday in England is the fourth Sunday in the month of Lent, and traditionally was the day of the year that children could return from work outside the home to visit their mothers. Today it is a day to celebrate mothers, often with flowers.

Families in China have started celebrating Mother’s Day as it fits with China’s traditional values of honouring the elderly and parents.

Children in Australia often make lovely cards for mum, and sometimes even prepare breakfast for this special person.

Quotes for Mothers Day
Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother. Lin Yutang, Chinese writer

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother. Author Unknown

We never know the love of the parent until we become parents ourselves. Henry Ward Beecher

On Mother's Day I have written a poem for you. In the interest of poetic economy and truth, I have succeeded in concentrating my deepest feelings and beliefs into two perfectly crafted lines: You're my mother, I would have no other! Forest Houtenschil

One Way to Celebrate
How well do you know your mother? If your family is getting together with your mother, how about playing a quiz game where each person has to guess your mother’s answers to the questions you make up, or use those below. The person who most correctly guesses your mother’s answers could win a prize (a lolly or an afternoon with mum?)

These questions were adapted from the Day for Mothers website.

• What is your mother's favourite holiday place?
• What colour clothes does your mother prefer?
• What was the name of your mother’s favourite pet?
• Who is your mother's favourite movie star?
• Where was your mother born?
• What does your mother like to do best in her leisure time?
• How old was your mother when she got married?
• What is your mother's most favourite food?
• Who has been the greatest influence in your mother's life?
• What angers your mother most?
• What is your mother most afraid of?
• What place does faith play in your mother’s life?
• What is goals does your mother still hope to attain?

How will you celebrate?
I have sent flowers to my mother today. My children have asked me not to book anything for next Sunday, so something is happening around here. What will you do? Will you be celebrating or replaying memories of your mother or a mothering person in your past? Whatever you do, have a happy Mother’s Day.

Sites to visit
http://www.mothersdaycelebration.com
http://www.quotegarden.com/mom-day.html
http://www.dayformothers.com/games/quiz-on-mothers-day.html

Happy Valentines Day

When I was young
In the United States (and also in Canada) Valentine’s Day was a popular holiday. It was a time to express love to sweethearts (I loved the heart shaped boxes of chocolates!), but also a time to let others (good friends, teachers, parents, etc) know that you appreciated and cared for them.
At school we passed out cards (homemade or purchased) to all the children in the class. We carefully chose the right message for each person and often included heart shaped candies with short messages written on them. Often we had a decorated box or bag on our desk or chair to receive these messages, many were secret ones, but others were signed. It was so much fun to be able to open this container and read our messages at the end of the school day. It was fun trying to figure out the sender of “From your Valentine” messages.

Around the world
Many countries celebrate this holiday in a variety of ways. England celebrates by writing verses; Japan by making chocolates for special friends; Italy by going out to dinner or exchanging chocolate covered hazelnuts with messages; and Denmark with messages signed with dots (one for each letter in his/her name and if the receiver guesses the sender correctly, he/she get an Easter egg in the Easter season. Australia, how do we celebrate? Very low key, I think. Lots of restaurants (including our Poachers Pantry) and hotels have Valentines specials on, and I noticed that there are a few balls which will earn money for charities.

History of this holiday
There are many stories about how Valentines Day started. I like the legend of the Bishop, Valentine, who healed the Jailor’s daughter. She visited him during his time in jail, and some say he loved her. It is thought that he actually sent the first Valentine greeting, a message to the young girl before he was beheaded. He signed this “From your Valentine”.

Valentines Cards
Valentine cards can be simple, fancy, large, small, handmade or purchased. The modern cards started in the 17th century and became more popular when postage prices came down in the 19th century.

Today there are many e-card sites where you can quickly send an electronic message. There’s no excuse for not making contact.

Quotes for Valentines
Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be.
Robert Browning

Love may not make the world go round, but I must admit that it makes the ride worthwhile.
Franklin Jones

Paradise is always where love dwells.
Jean Paul F. Richter

How Do I Love Thee? Let me count the ways...
Elizabeth Barret Browning

How will you celebrate?
I have sent a card and will send flowers to my mother this week. Hopefully I will find something for David. What will you do? Will you be celebrating?

Sites to visit
http://valentines-day.123holiday.net/love_quotes.html
http://valentines-day.123holiday.net/love_poems.html
http://www.crewsnest.vispa.com/valentine.htm

New Year’s Resolutions

I’ve just come home from church were Barry Banks spoke a little on new years as a time to take assess what you accomplished in the previous year, what you would like to change in this year. He also talked about fruits of the spirit and how we should continue to grow spiritually through our lives even when our bodies may be deteriorating. Hope I listened well, Barry, and that this was the gist of it.

This made me think of all the new year’s resolutions I have made in the past... and broken. How do people really follow the resolutions they make? This led me to the Internet where I began reading. It seems that there are many like me with many resolutions broken, but perhaps making better resolutions and having a method of following through could be useful.

Popular Resolutions
According to US government site, the current Popular New Year's Resolutions are
• Lose Weight
• Manage Debt (others say get out of debt)
• Save Money
• Get a Better Job
• Get Fit

Other resolutions include: Eat Right, Get a Better Education, Drink Less Alcohol, Quit Smoking Now, Reduce Stress Overall, Reduce Stress at Work, Take a Trip, and Volunteer to Help Others. Other sites suggest the following: spend more time with family and friends; enjoy life more, learn something new (I hope I continue to do this), get organised (yes, I could certainly return to the de-cluttering at home!), and do something for the environment.

I guess I’ve had most of those resolutions over my life time. The good thing about the US government website is that each resolution is linked to a site to help you accomplish your goals. Ok, so that should help a little.

Help creating resolutions
So why can’t I keep my resolutions? The mydr website suggests that to make goals more attainable, we should make our goals SMART. S is for specific (walk 3 times per week and swim once a week). M is for measurable (not lose weight, but lose 5kilos). A is for Achievable (can I get up early enough to walk before work or get home in time to walk in the evening?). R is for relevant (how does this fit with my long term goals?), and T is for Timely (set a deadline for reaching your target or even set a time line with steps along the way).

The mygoals website suggests the following will help:
• Create a Plan
• Create Your Plan IMMEDIATELY
• Write Down Your Resolution and Plan
• Think "Year Round," Not Just New Year's
• Remain Flexible

Recording progress
Another big help is recording your progress. Yes, I do like to see written records. I think this would help me. I could use a spreadsheet sheet or just write a table on paper and tick off what I do every week. However I found a website that just might be more fun. You might want to see Joe’s Goals an online tool for tracking your progress. It also means your resolutions are more public so you might stick to them more easily.

My resolutions
Ok, here goes... my goals for the next three months will be to:
• Get fitter. Let’s say I’ll be able to walk up three flights of stairs at uni without puffing. I’ll begin this week by walking two days a week for about ½ an hour each day, and will walk the stairs whenever possible at work.
• Start work on a family tree which will go on the web. By the end of 3 months, I’ll have all mom’s work on the family tree completed digitally and connected to all the relevant photos I already have. I’ll begin this week by finding software, organising pictures, and consider putting it on the web for input by others.

I’ll record my progress weekly on the computer, but I may put it on Joe’s Goals as well. Check back with me the second week in April and see if I make it this time...

http://www.usa.gov/Citizen/Topics/New_Years_Resolutions.shtml
http://www.mydr.com.au/nutrition-weight/new-year-s-resolutions-making-them-work
http://mygoals.com/about/NewYearsTips.html
http://www.joesgoals.com/